Previous Life

Old Holly was a complete different person. But we all think that we used to be different people, right? God's gift to my husband was that I eventually changed, grew up, dropped old friends, and learned to cook.

Old Holly:
Did case races for fun-
Was never on time-
Bought prepackaged meals and then put them in a pan to make it looked like she cooked-
Didn't know a budget from a whore in church-
Lived in the "Real World Glen Carbon" house-
With four college wrestlers-
Was as dependable as a Chicago politician-
Thought Keystone Light was the sweet nectar of the Earth-
Stole a Christmas tree from the outside of a store-
And prided herself at having amazing hand-eye coordination, aka beer pong skills-

In fact, I prided myself on this table. A "LOST" themed beer pong table, at that. Because when you're a troll in every other aspect of life, you need some kind of confidence.

And for the record, this was created before pinterest. Oh, that's obvious? Do you see the Oceanic plane crashing in the middle of the island? You probably don't because I'm pretty sure this picture was taken with a disposable camera. There was also a yellow plane on one of the corners that was Boone's plane crashing in a tree. Also, a black valcano and Christmas lights that spelled out LOST.

My friend, Hogan, and I skipped class one day and went to the hardware store. We bought a piece of plywood and a yard of AstroTurf. Then we went to the craft store and bought some wooden planes, paint, and floral stuffing.

Our only mistake, besides raking up student loan debt to pay our beer tab, was gluing Spanish moss on the ends of the table to represent the jungle. The water cups were always full of dyed moss, that we eventually consumed, and will probably be the inevitable death of us later in life.

Anyway, I thought I'd share a glimpse of old Holly. Aren't you all glad that normal Holly is here with you now? Oh she needs to stop talking in third person? OK.