Well, as in, I considered myself to be quite fashionable.
Somewhere in between having two babies, gaining and losing weight twice, my body isn't the same as what it used to be. Same ol story... ba ba blah.
When it comes to shopping for kid clothes? I drop it like it's hot. For me? That's a big fat NOT.
Am I the only one that goes to the mall and wants to know why everyone is dressing so.... ugly? The clothes are ugly. They don't match. They're not flattering. Skinny jeans make me look like a walking birthing machine with my breeding hips.
Lately, I just feel like Boring Bertha. I have had a hard time trying to find clothes that match. I want to do the colored jeans so bad, but I feel like a fraud. A fashion fraud that is dying to get back into their Gap khakis and plain 3/4 sleeve sweater.
I need help. But not the hired store help that follows me around wanting to start a room, open up a credit card, tell me about the sale on jeans, the buy one-get one free offer, ask me what I am shopping for, if I'm shopping for anything specific, if I'm shopping for anyone in particular, if they can have my phone number, if they can have my email address,
I just wish I was better at putting outfits together. Usually, the Limited is my go-to place if I got dolla dolla bills ya'all.
But please look at these outfits....
One shopping store that I never bought an outfit from is Anthropologie. I love their dishes and pillows. But I cannot fathom paying $200 for a dress that looks like it came from Forever 21. Can I get an Amen?!
Ok... rant over.... Someone please come shopping with me.
What is your usual clothing store? Will someone tell my husband that 29 is too old for Hollister? :)
I had a similar feeling when walking by some of the stores recently...If 80's clothes are my only option, I'm done shopping!
ReplyDeleteDisgusting UGLY!
I totally feel the same way. Unless you want to dress like a freak or wear head to toe animal print then there's nothing out there right now. My bank account isn't complaining, but I'm itching for a shopping fix.
ReplyDeleteThis post is SO FUNNY and SO TRUE! So, if I am going to just piece outfits together myself, I go to Ann Taylor LOFT. Their clothes are cheaper than the usual Ann Taylor store and they typically run pretty good sales. I am a psychologist/behavior analyst, so I pretty much live in dark jeans, heels, and a cardigan. If I want to feel festive/feisty, I look up Polyvore outfits on Pinterest and go to Macy's or Dillard's and piece the outfits that I find flattering together. It's not easy. Right now I wear anywhere between a 16 or 18....and as we know, if you are Plus Size you either have to pay MUCH more money for the same outfit that everyone else is wearing (my pants are 2 inches larger, not 2 feet larger...why do I have to pay 20 more dollars for jeans. No fair. Hate plus size shops like Lane Bryant or Eloquii) or stores want to put us in a moo-moo, pat our backs, and send us [plus size women] on our way! If you're ever in Lexington, KY shout me out. We can be bargain shopping hunters!
ReplyDeleteI hear ya! Some of the crap that is out there is so damn ugly, WTF! I love Kohls, Target, and Macy's!
ReplyDeleteI'm with you girl! Clothes are gross right now. I refuse to wear anything resembling things I wore in middle school. Ugh. I'm 35- don't want to look 65, but don't want to look 15 either. Where is the happy medium for those of us with child bearing hips and tummies? I'm struggling to find it even in my normally favorite stores (Limited, Loft, NY&CO). Guess I'll keep on wearing my adidas for now :/
ReplyDeleteLOL Agree agree agree... and yes, I think your hubby may need to find a new store. lol. It's all good though... My hubby buys all his clothes at Bass Pro- Yes, he is always in camo.
ReplyDeleteHello Gorgeous! Have you ever thought about a personal shopper? I had one in high school - she changed my life. There are a lot of stores that provide personal shopping services (free) - and they'll give you a discount...Are you open to it? You are totally worthy of it. It's kind of like getting your make-up done at the counter - they teach you and you just need to buy something. maybe a dress that makes you feel special...? (you could always return it). And please don't wear colored jeans (they were so 5 years ago in NYC).
ReplyDeletehahaha, Holly, I sometimes have "fashion block." But I've learned to embrace skinny jeans, pink pants, and I still shop at Forever 21----so I don't think you want me to go shopping with you!!
ReplyDeleteMy kids are seriously the best dressed kids on the block. I look like their poor teenage babysitter. I suck at shopping too. My mother-in-law has great taste...so I just let her shop for me. Sad, I know.
ReplyDeleteSo true! Its the same thing for me. I usually stick to my jeans and t-shirt. I have tried on the colored skinny jeans and the over-sized sweater.... not flattering. I look frumpy and the total opposite as the girl in the poster wearing the same thing. I just cant pull it off. Since I am a SAHM i usually wear the sweat pants and t-shirt full of my kids lunch. I just want to look nice when I leave the house sometimes, not wearing my stained filled clothes.
ReplyDeleteAll those questions from the sales people drive me crazy too! I will ask a question if I have one- I know how!! I love Ann Taylor Loft. It is my heaven.
ReplyDeleteI will! I will! Someday...haha! I love shopping, especially for other people! But I'm affriad we might have totally different tastes based on the pictures you don't like! I'm really into Kohl's at the moment! But I will say one thing...I always dress my age, if not a little older (but not frumpy/dumpy either)! I just hate when you see a 30 or 40 (even though I'm not 30...yet) something year old lady in the juniors section! I just want to scream ODD NUMBERED CLOTHES ARE FOR PRETEENS! Ugh! My husband's Mother is horrible at this! She will be like oh, I'm a size 7-9-11 whatever it may be and I just want to scream and take a swing at her! A little dramatic, no? Haha! I wear dresses and skirts EVERY DAY at work because I hate pants (even jeans) b/c of my HUGE thighs! Haha!
ReplyDeleteWow, I'm totally with you! I find myself shopping at Gap, Kohls, and Target most of the time. I too used to be fashionable, but now, I don't like what is fashionable. I guess I have grown out of being trendy. I stick to mostly classics that I can wear for years, that's right, I said it YEARS. I have pants that I still wear that I purchased all the way back in 2004 and they still work. I sorta wish they didn't work because I want new clothes, but alas, they do, so I continue to wear.....
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh so hard! I agree with you that the clothes are UGLY! I hate that nothing matches! I cannot pull off the skinny jeans, and I don't think I want to? I'm not a big fan. I LOVE jeans, but not the skinnies. I like plain ole Old Navy, for jeans. They have other styles than just the skinnies. I don't really mind where I go for tops, anywhere really. But, I like Kohls. I like the jeans, fitted shirt, with a cardigan over it kinda look....I'm dying to wear a scarf...never have, but I wanna! I am also a sucker for boots! I am not digging all these flats I see everyone wearing! Maybe I'm just an "old soul" and don't get too much into the trends? I don't know...but I'm with you on the clothes being ugly!! and very 80's! I also agree that 29, is too old for Hollister LOL...I hate that store, because I can never see! it's so dark in there!! Other stores I love....New York & Co, but don't go much. For the same reasons as you....gain weight, lose weight, blah blah blah
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you Holly! I need new clothes so bad since having Jackson, but I never really see anything out there that I like, nor do I want to spend so much money on clothes. Its frustrating!
ReplyDeleteHolly- I love this post! I am the same way! I want a pair of mint skinny jeans SO bad. I also feel that some of the styles right now are just plain weird, but whatev everything will change!
ReplyDeleteHowever, I think you would look really cute in some darker jean "jeggings" and some boots (like dark brown) and a cute longer "boyfriend" type sweater (a button up one) with a cute cream colored shirt underneath. Ok..now all you have to do is go find this outfit. Last time I checked Target had some cute boyfriend sweaters.
I'm sure there is so much cute stuff you could wear now especially after your 30 day shred...DAMN girl! :)
I am appalled that the monochromatic outfit is in style now when I have spent years trying to teach my daughters that "just because its the same color doesn't mean it matches". Shopping is so tough, I agree completely and I need to find a few good go-to stores besides Target and Old Navy. I would love to go shopping with you, I'm sure we could steer each other away from the grandma sweaters and mom jeans.
ReplyDeleteAMEN to the Anthropologie comment!!! YES.
ReplyDeleteI'm still a Forever 21-er, but for things like sweaters and jeans ... not baby fetus skirts.
And I super love Dillards and Penneys. Who knew?
OMG yes. I'm not a mom, so I don't even have an excuse, but at some point fashion moved forward and left me behind. I swear I dress like a 50-something, rather than a 27-year-old.
ReplyDeleteI do not understand the following: nude/highlighter combos, ratted hair, native print, skinny jeans (I canNOT get a skinny pair to fit right! They're either too gappy/loose in the thighs or too tight to get over my bum), colored and/or patterned tights, belts at the waist (how does one make them, um, look good on oneself?).
Dots! My ghetto get all my basics store! All my tanks and shoes because they're cheap! Also target I can never go wrong with target (except when they go on their neon phase...I'm too chicken colored for straight neon). I'm also a big maurices fan only because down here in farm town its that and jc penny's. But between a few combos I can always put a few things together because keys just face it I'm not forever 21 and even at just 26 I feel like Matthew mcconaughey in dazed in confused hanging with all the huh schoolers! :( unfortunately.
ReplyDeleteLet's* not keys...this damn phone
DeleteI know it is so hard to pick clothes these days. Everytime I go somewhere for "me" I head to the kids section and spend it all there and then think "I better not spend anymore money". I truthfully adore JCREW but it is pricey. I adore Express but sometimes it is too young for me ~ I mean I am 32. I basically shop at Dillards and Nordstroms and head to the sale racks. I agree, the clothes out there now-a-days for "my age" are blah... Where is a store for 30+ mom's with cute clothes for a reasonable price?
ReplyDeleteAMEN on the 200 dollar dress from Anthropoligie and the yeloow "suit"? WTF.
ReplyDeleteI no longer look at manequins. I shamless copy pins from pinterest. I also subscribe to all of my favorite stores and catelogue their weekend sales with my pins I want to copy, so that I can spend as little precious time shopping as possible. I'm also a serious fan of online shopping. ASOS , Top Shop,and Dorthy Perkins are favorites. The less I have to do the better, that's my motto!
People 18 and up are to old for Hollister and Abercrombie. I LOVE the Limited. They always have sales, holla for a dolla!
I'm dying! Those mannequins look more like manne-can'ts to be honest. Who actually dresses like that? (Not this chubby mama.)
ReplyDeleteI've also often wondered about the plus sized clothing options (since I was a plus sized Mama for quite some time not so many years ago). It always seemed like the only option for women-of-larger-stature was either sweaters with huge buttons shaped like flowers down the front or Looney Tune themed clothing. What gives?!
Anyway, I don't know what to tell you. I'm a stay at home Mom (so I don't have to "dress up" for work) and my wardrobe only contains items that were once in the clearance section of Target. Boom.
UGLY!!!
ReplyDeleteSome of the newer stuff really scares me. I tend to stick with styles I like. I shop at Old Navy for all my comfy clothes and I am always hunting for a bargain at Crossroads (name brand used clothing store) for my work clothes. But honestly, my wardrobe is a bunch of pieces I have collected over the years from Torrid and other random stores.
Though this fall I am getting brave and I am doing the tall boots with leggings and a dress or tall boots possibly with skinny jeans (the only time you will EVER find me in them).
:)
I own a boutique and let me tell you, I get women in here ALL the time with the same dilemma as you're having right now, Holly. Most my customers are moms who are looking for a fashionable, yet functional wardrobe that fits their post-pregnancy, busy mom bodies and lifestyles. My suggestion to them ALWAYS is to try, try, try! Try everything!
ReplyDeleteGo somewhere like Ann Taylor Loft (who in my opinion, makes great, inexpensive clothing for women over the age of 16)and be THAT customer that brings 30 different things into the dressing room. Try the skinny jeans, try the boyfriends, try the colored denim, try dresses or tops with big prints and small prints, and no prints. See what fits your body, and what your comfortable in, and what length dress you can bend over to get the kids out of the car in without showing the world your goodies. And don't be afraid to walk out without buying anything. Bring a trusted, truthful friend with you if you want. Someone who isn't afraid to tell you that those jeans really do make your butt look big but that printed top makes you look 10 years younger and 20 pounds thinner.
And finally, HAVE FUN!! Clothing and clothing shopping is supposed to be fun!!
Best advice ever! Thank you! :)
Deletehaha! I will totally come shopping with you. When I shop with a friend I can find them all kinds of stuff and nothing for me. When I am broke, I find plenty for me. Typical. I feel old by saying this and a little OCD but I almost have to have a game plan before I go shopping. Like I pinterest it up and find some items that I need to complete this or that look. Make a list and go. Ugh, that sounds lame but seriously. I am cheap though so I find a lot of stuff at Marshalls and TJMaxx. I have to have plenty of time if I attempt F21 because my size is never the same and there's a lot of crap to weed through. For work clothes I check out NY&Co when there's a sale. I can go to ON for shirts but their pants aren't made for someone with hips. Love the colored jeans, but it just isn't happening for me there.
ReplyDeleteVery true! I simply can't wait until I'm small enough to walk into the store and find something I like and buy it instead of buying because it fits. I've got 50 lbs I'd love to lost and am finally going to get on it, and get my chubby ass moving!
ReplyDeleteAhhh those are some FUGLY outfits.
ReplyDeleteI have been harassing my alwaysperfectlydressedwithoutbeingoverdone co worker to be my personal shopper for a solid year now. I think I am wearing her down! I am a total jeans and t shirt and flip flops or chucks kinda girl. I wish I had a better style but I feel totally uncomfortable in anything besides that. Then I see all Mama L's outfit posts and other adorable outfits and I hate my plain-ness. I would like to blame the extra 20lbs of beer/food that my body is hanging on to but even when I was skinnier I still dressed plain. I shop @ American Eagle [their Jeans are affordable and fit great) Target, Kohls and Ross. I buy cheap tanks from F21 but I am scared of everything else heh.
The past few years I have had shopping issues - everything is beyond hideous. When I do find something I like and that looks good - I buy one in every color!
ReplyDeleteI hate shopping. It's not even a size or how I look issue. I'm just not a fan of today's styles and I have no clue how to dress. Why can't I be 22 and hot again? I don't want to dress "too young" or be all momish, but I'd like to look like I care about how I look.
ReplyDeleteDid you ever see the movie in the 80's "Mannequin"? I feel like these mannequins should come to life and bitch slap the employee that "styled" them. lol.
ReplyDeleteAlmost everything out there is unattractive at this point. I haven't lost enough weight to constitute a new wardrobe, but this is the first time in my life I have dreaded having to buy a bunch of new clothes. Right now, about the only place I like is Maurice's. Cute stuff and not ridiculously priced, but more than I PREFER to pay.
ReplyDeleteLOL those outfits were horrible! I need someone to shop for me too so let me know when you find someone ah-mazing!
ReplyDeleteWow - I totally relate. My sister has been trying to get me in skinnies for months now but this post mommy bod just looks horrible in them! I have totally outgrown the "trendy" clothes but still want to look cute. I tend to stick with Ann Taylor, Banana or if I wanna go cheap Kohls or Target.
ReplyDeleteI would love to go shopping with you! Except, I'm in Seattle. I have wide hips too, but I wear skinny jeans tucked into boots with tops that hide my hips a little, do you wear heels much or mostly flats? I think that makes all the difference. If you're trying to incorporate color, go small at first with colored jeans and a neutral top, then eventually you could go less neutral, maybe even with a small pattern then when you're more comfortable with that you can go big and bold. I don't do big and bold that well, even now and I love color! Just my two cents, what works for me is probably not a shared opinion though.
ReplyDeleteUgh, I can so relate!!! I was just having lunch w/ 2 girl friends today and I gave them the same schpeel! I don't feel cool enough to shop at Forever 21, Maurices or any other 'teeny bopper' store. And I am such a tight wad, I have near panic attacks spending any amount of money on clothes. I usually wait for a 30% off coupon from Kohl's, and even then I'm terrified to step foot in the younger section. I need a trendy friend to take me shopping and to cover my eyes when they tally up my bill!
ReplyDeleteOn a diff note, I'm totally jealous of you! I read ML's post today. I feel like the geek that gets left out when all the cool kids are sitting one table over talking about all their fabulous plans together for the weekend that you'll never in a million years get invited to. Bleck, pity party at my house this afternoon. I still like you, tho, so no worries there. :)
You crack me up! I buy a ton of dresses from Target and always get complements. I tend to stick with Target, Kohls (prices are awesome) and Old Navy. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteIm dying! Ya know when I knew I had reached a new low? I called my mom this weekend (who is 60) and asked her "Hey Mom, remember when you used to sew your own fancy colorful blazers in the 80's?" (SILENT PAUSE.... yeeeaaahhh) "Do you still have any of them? Blazers are back in style and I would love to take them off your hands." Really? Im 30, and I just called my mom to ask if I can have her handmade polyester business attire with shoulder pads. I used to be hip. I used to be cute. Now my kids are hip and cute, and Ive turned into, well.... this.
ReplyDeleteI actually love shopping for clothes...except for the spending money part...but I try to avoid looking an mannikins because their outfits tend to be pretty horrible quite often. I like Kohl's for cheap, basic clothes, Shabby Apple for dresses, and Express for business/dressy clothes. And I Love $2 camis at Forever 21. I can't stand paying $10 for something I just want to wear underneath my 'real' shirt!
ReplyDeleteCheck out New York and Company. I buy pretty much all my clothes there and they always have a ton of awesome colors. You also have to google coupons so that it becomes a little more reasonable to purchase them.
ReplyDeleteWe'll go shopping next weekend Hollywood :)
ReplyDeleteLOL! I love this. I feel the same way! The high wasted shorts or pants will never be attractive to me
ReplyDeleteAmen Holly! My problem is walking around and staring at people wondering how some of them actually pull "those" clothes off. I also wonder to myself gah how am I ever gonna fit into something like that? Insert frustrsation, mood swings, night of eating bread,and inevitably another 2 pounds. Effing Clothes!
ReplyDeletetrue that!! I have no advice on stores as I hate clothes shopping!
ReplyDelete29 is WAY too old for Hollister! I feel your pain for shopping. I hate doing it right now. I swear all I wear is a colored v neck shirt from Target and yoga pants. I would love to wear some cute clothes but I am way to cheap and think the stuff that I can afford are plain ugly. I hope you find some miracle store that you can share with us, where everything fits everyone perfectly and is affordable. Oh, and maybe they don't have a kids section 'cause I am horrible about going shopping for myself and then just buying for the kids, man the kids are always so well dressed and I definitely need to shape up my wardrobe.
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of a conversation I had with my daughter while school shopping. She prances out of the dressing room and asks "Do I look hot"...wth you are 10, nothing about you should be hot unless you have a damn fever. Anyhow, I told her I just don't like the new styles and she replies "Mom, you are so not in style!" Well...if this crap is in style, I'll just have to be out of style. I happen to think I look nice in my Nike running shorts and Fudpucker's t-shirt! LOL! No...it seeems that by the time some of this stuff begins to grow on me it changes drastically. I finally embraced skinny jeans and like them. My favorite stores are Banana (singing Gwen Stefani)Republic, J. Crew, and Victoria's Secret.
ReplyDeleteHilarious!!!! Since when did navy blue and black become ok to put together?!?! Not in my lifetime. I so struggle with fasion and putting together cute outfits. Just shoot me when it is time for family photos and putting 3 outfits together. If it were completely up to me I would just wear yoga pant and take a bottle of wine to photo shoots!
ReplyDeleteI feel ya girl!
Hilarious post! I feel the exact same way! I'm used to wearing pajamas every day all day since I got fat and became a stay-at-home-mom. Now that I've lost 70 lbs. I want to dress cute but I don't know how to put together cute outfits a la Pinterest.
ReplyDeleteThose clothes are HIDEOUS! LOL. I struggle with this as well. I work in a VERY casual work environment and could basically wear sweats...let's be honest that does nothing for my figure. I'm still on my weight loss journey so I hated to invest in anything to expensive but decided I needed a few staple items. I also realized I feel 100% in nice good fitting jeans vs the cheap-o target jeans I was buying. I bought a pair of JCrew Matchstick Skinnies (holy splurge) and a few different pairs/styles from LOFT (GREAT sales!). As far as tops I tend to try and mix and match and try not to be trendy at almost 32 years of age. I picked up a few cute tops from JCrew outlet recently...can get great prices if you watch for sales. I've also picked up a few tops from Loft and nordstrom sale racks. Everything else is from target (which my local target is hit or miss) and sometimes I have good luck at kohl's. I am on the taller side so I HAVE to make sure a shirt is long enough...very picky about this. I just ordered a few things from Old Navy and Gap online in tall sizes so we will see how those fit!!
ReplyDeleteHOLY shit balls! I was just thinking this. I normally have pretty good luck with Ann Taylor Loft, but I mean come on... my BIG hate, the doleman (??) sleeves... or cap sleeve, etc. They are like a picture frame for my flabby mom arms.... i don't get it. I love Pintrest but all the crap on there would take my whole pay check (who needs daycare if Momma looks good)and Momma L and her Pintrest Monday's... um she's cute, loud, and skinny... my flag arms and chickmunk gut are not able to follow...
ReplyDeleteI'm so with you! The clothes are ugly! I just bought my fall wardrobe from Maurice's, gap outlet and old navy outlet. I did finally succumb to a pair of skinny jeans, mainly because all the boot cuts look so mom-jean-ish. There are a lot of stripes, pink and navy in my closet right now. Prolly jot the most fashionable, but it's working for me.
ReplyDeleteOkay, so I am by no means "Queen Fashionista", but those clothes are butt-ugly! Or "fugly" if you prefer. I have the same issue..can spend like crazy on the kiddos, but have a hard time finding clothes for myself that are flattering, current-but-don't-look-like-I'm-trying-to-hard, and don't cost more than my electric bill! Ugh!
ReplyDeleteT.A.R.G.E.T ...that's putting the emphasis in Target. I either go there or Francesca's (cutest little clothing boutique ever - they have an online store where you buy their things). Both are relatively inexpensive. Right up this poor girl's budget!
ReplyDeleteI very much hate shopping! I am a cheap/clearance kind of girl!! I have absolutely no fashion sense, and since I never shop for myself, my clothes are WAY out of date (seriously!!) I am in need of help also!
ReplyDeletePreach! It seems designers are playing a riveting game of "let's throw a bucket of clothes in the air and wherever it lands makes an outfit". If I remember correctly you're a STL girl too (hey!), my fav budget friendly "cuz my money tree ain't ready yet" stores are Target (go to a few, they always carry different stuff - Brentwood has a good selection, South County is ok depending on what size you need. Chesterfield - though a haul ALWAYS has stuff I want to need). Also, Nordstrom Rack has good deals, goodwill (again Chesterfield - I've had good luck there), and then I scour/stalk every clearance rack from here to Albany. I LOVE to shop (obsessed), so if you need a personal clothes scavenger I'm your girl - it's a gift (illness), ha! Happy Shopping!
ReplyDelete-Marcia
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