Something happened when I became a mom. It's like I'm drawn to other mother's. Some sort of weird freak magnet... like Hey You with the baby!! Yes, you!! Please be my friend!!
My old friends without kids? Who are they? That time of my life gets a little blurry. It's not that I don't still love my pre-non-baby-friends.... It's just, I don't think they would find going to the indoor play area at the mall to be a very good time. I don't think they would enjoy a 4:30pm dinner, because I gotta get home for baths and bedtime. Or they just have so many damn kick-knacks in their house, that my toddler cannot be trusted because he thinks we're visiting a real-life Fisher Price Playhouse.
And when I see another mother in public who looks like me and has some runny-nosed kids.... I feel like laying the most aggressive pick up lines on her... Can I gettcha' number?
Anyway, the point I am getting to is the word PLAY DATE. Who in the hell came up with this term? As if we are so socially busy, that I must have my people call your people and pencil you into my book.
Back in the day, I would just walk to my friend's house if I wanted to play. In fact, my sister and I were those kids that woke up early-early. We'd climb the fence in the backyard over to the neighbor's house and ring the doorbell. My guess is that this happened about 6am on Saturday mornings. My 6am guess is because her mom would answer the door all sorts of upset and tell us not to come back until 9am.... and 9am was hours away.
Now, God knows Haven or Olive isn't leaving my sight. Notta freakin' chance. But we need to find friends to play with when the Smith's are busy.
So the other night, we're all at the park and I spot a little kid from Haven's class. Then I spot his mom because I had briefly met her on the pumpkin patch field trip last week. We chit-chat, daycare bash, and then realize that we live on the same street. Oh my gawd, I just hit the Play Date lottery!!
But then I got too nervous and left without grabbing her number.
So then I was thinking that I would put a Hi, I'm a freak card in her son's box at school.
Would that be weird?
Ok, good. Because I did it this morning. :)
And now, I will shamelessly transition into some awesome ladies that I would love to have play dates with, if they lived closer. :)
Darci... Who looks so pretty when she smiles! Darci has two kids that are weeks within age of Haven and Olive. She has a very dry sense of humor and often takes pictures of herself not smiling, like she is trying be hard. But really, I know deep down, she is full of rainbows and butterflies. Look at that face!!
Meredith... My little crafting and cooking machine. She recently did a Pinterest 30 Day Challenge. You should check out her blog for real recipes and projects that she has completed. And she is just a very nice blog friend-- we all like those!
Mrs. D in tha house!! I like Marianne... a lawwt. She has her hands full with two boys, but still finds time to hit the gym and bring sexy back! And she is also a Coupon-Queen... check out her blog!
Shelly.... Shelly, Shelly, No Belly. I like Shelly's blog because she is always keepin' it real. She is a fun mom, wife, and friend... who really tries to do it all. She also an emailer... and you all know that I am one, too! :)
And also, for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, my friend Annie from Crazy Simple Mama is hosting a fundraiser on her blog. For a small donation, she will place your blog or Etsy button on her page. Please pop on over there.
---
Happy Wednesday!!
I completely sympathize with only being good at making internet friends! The mama to mama tango of exchanging numbers is as stressful as getting a dudes digits (back in the day for you married gals.... Me? I've got a single mama double whammy!) My munchkin and I are having a playdate with a friend of mine from high school and her 2 daughters. We haven't seen each other in nearly 10 yrs.... and have reconnected through.... Wait for it........ Blogging and Facebook. So tonight is the serious move of letting our kids meet and play together. Shit's getting serious...
ReplyDeleteGood for you for leaving a note for the other mom! I hope she calls! :)
I'm only good at making internet friends too. I'm alway the soccer team mom or the tball team mom and seriously make no friends out of it. I'm way too awkward. Oh, and the whole do I give my number thing, I've totally been feeling like that with you as of late! Haha! Sometimes I'm like "this would be easier if I could just text Holly but she'd definitely think I'm a total weirdo/stalker for giving her my number." Sooo now that I made this awkward, I will be leaving, ha! Hope you have a good day!!
ReplyDeleteI hate making friends as an adult. It's lame and I'm so socially awkward. Which is why I decided to just have enough kids that everyone in Target already thinks I'm running a daycare.
ReplyDeletelol @ Kaits comment. Making friends as an adult is hard, but speaking from the other side of the fence (sans kids), don't forget your friends without kids! You would probably be surprised at what non- moms would do for a little girl time. I'm a military wife without kids, and I quite literally cannot find people to hang out with because I don't have kids. I seriously don't mind getting together with my girlfriends and their little ones from time to time! Thanks for writing this... now I have better understanding of what is going through a momma's head.
ReplyDeleteI like that a lot of people feel they are socially awkward and have a hard time making friends now that we are mamas! Now I dont feel like I'm alone in the awkward boat!
ReplyDeleteNot weird at all to pass on a note! We have playdates with a family in our neighborhood about once a month, on a saturday night while my hubs in on a 24 hour shift! Keeps us occupied! But, it never fails that the kids don't want to play....they just want to bug the other mom and myself! lol Any other time they are dying to play....but when we plan it? Nope, not a change!
ReplyDeleteI don't even know what to talk about with my non children friends. The whole time I'm on the phone with them, I'm trying to make sure I don't talk about Kendall too much and stay interested in their lives.
ReplyDeleteYou should stay in the parking lot and wait for the mom to come pick her kid up. Why does this sound like you are trying to date her? Or stalk her and follow her home? LOL... desperate times call for desperate measures!
I figure it's less weird if I just hand my number over to moms when we are out. I've done it a dozen times, times ten. I have two of the very best mom friends ever from doing it that way. Make that three. Also there have been about five hundred moms who have never called me. I still cry over the mom I met at McDonald's play land. She was soooo nice and her little girls and one boy were so cute and sweet. *sniff* That was about 4 years ago.
ReplyDeleteI have never handed my number out to another mom, but I gotta say its not a bad idea. I don't really go anywhere that I can meet people that I would genuinely want to be friends with other than the internet. God, that sounded so sad.
ReplyDeleteI have a theory that making friends as an adult is a lot like dating. There is that awkward moment when you're trying to decide whether or not to ask for their number - "Will she think I'm desperate? Why do I have to ask for her number? SHE could ask ME!" Then there is the getting-to-know you phase - "Was she mad that I had Sponge Bob on while our kids played? Was she secretly judging me when I talked about drinking wine and watching the Daily Show on Hulu during naptime?" Then once you are established friends comes the jealousy - "I invited her over the other day, she said she was busy, and then I saw her at the playground with Shelly! Yes, Shelly makes pretty good banana nut muffins but her kid bites people!" It's all proof that we never really outgrow adolescence. :-)
ReplyDeleteHoly Cheese-n-Crackers! This cracks me up because I am entirely the same way looking for moms to be friends with. I live in a much much smaller town so I know about everyone but that can make it even harder.
ReplyDeleteI love how you sent a note this morning! That is a good idea!
Play dates, and other kids' parents... ahhh, it's all SO stressful! I'm glad you left the note this morning... I bet it'll totally make her feel cool and relieved because I'm sure she's been thinking the same things as you!
ReplyDeleteJust throw that awkward out there! The first to do it is always the bravest. I like embarassing myself. That Momma will call you soon, she probaly wanted to contact you too but got caught it the awkward dance off. Happy Wednesday Holly!
ReplyDeleteI would have killed for some mom time/play dates when we lived in our old town. I was so lonely and desperate for adult interaction. Now, in our new town, we have 2 sepereate play dates almost every week, which means about 3 hours of adult chit-chat with 3 different moms PER WEEK! JACKPOT!!! I am not a go-getter when meeting people, some old shy thing (and those 5th grade bullies) kick in and I end up clamming up and not knowing what to say. So to have these 3 new friends has been so helpful for my mental state! Now if I could just get Bren to actually play with these other kids. :)
ReplyDeleteI would personally love it if a mom left me note asking to hang out. you're so darn cool!
LOL! There's a hilarious bit by Louis CK about being forced to hang out with parents of other kids. Have you heard it?
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rOxoZ3exM_Q
Im in the same boat with mommy friends! I'm fairly new to the town where I live, and work an hour and a half away so find it very hard to meet people where I live. One day my husband and I were getting home from work and talking in the driveway. I had noticed a new family had moved in down the road, and I taught she looked pregnant (I was pregnant too!) and I thought it would be SO nice to meet her and have a friend so close by. So, as we were in the driveway these new neighbors were out for a walk and walked by our house. I took this as my opportunity to "meet" them. So I shouted, "when are you due?!!?". From what my husband says, I looked pretty crazy cause you couldn't really see I was pregnant too! We talked for awhile, and then they went on their way. I didn't get her number, and haven't seen her since but as I drive by her house I do a full on stalker stare!! If she ever happens to be outside, maybe I'll pull over and make myself look even more needy and desperate for friendship!!
ReplyDeleteHey! There's me AND I'm smiling! Ha! So did you watch The Voice last night? Did you look for CeLo's tiny hands?
ReplyDeleteAnd I don't care if you hate play dates or not b/c someday, somehow we WILL have a play date! :-) Thanks for the shout out, girl!
Hahaha! Celos tiny hands crack me up. He is a T. rex
DeleteI don't have kids yet but most of my friends do and I'm totally that cool girl that hangs out with her friends with kids! I love it! Mostly because I love kids!
ReplyDeleteP.S. Maybe I should move closer so we can be BFFs! Just a thought ;)
Have a wonderful hump day!
"Or they just have so many damn kick-knacks in their house" ...YES!!! I totally relate to this post, especially being the new girl in town. Just the other day I looked a girl up on Facebook and then didn't even send her a friend request because I had JUST met her and we hardly talked and I didn't want to look quite so eager! I might as well be dating again for how much I can over think these mommy relationships!
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you left the note, I don't think that is weird at all. Of course, I am the freak who was upset that her only friend with kids was moving away so while on our last play date at a public pool I spotted another momma, went up to her and said hey, you have a boy about the same age as my son and you look about as pregnant as me, want to be friends? Lucky for me she turned out to not be a crazy, now over five years later and five more kids between us we are still great friends who see each other at least once a week. So at least you sorta new your other mom before asking her to play. Also, a friend on your same street is just awesome!
ReplyDeleteCan we please be best friends and you just move here so we can have play dates?
ReplyDeleteToo forward? I don't care! :)
Well a couple post back you posted about the little thing you have to decipher in order to leave a comment on someone's blogs and I can't do it either! I just had an anxiety attack and gave up trying to write on mama L's blog. Those things are IMPOSSIBLE! How do I get it taken off my blog?
ReplyDeleteI'd eat geriatric hour dinner with you any time! :) And I NEED my mommy friends and play dates! I cannot be alone all day without adult conversation!
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh..I've never even really thought about until now, but play dates are so awkward for me! I have one FB friend I've met through other friends who's a stay at home mom with a daughter the same age as mine..and I am just TOO (not sure if this is the right term) SHY to do a play date with her. At least you're making attempts! You're an awesome mommy, Holly!
ReplyDeleteI know play dates - basically kids run around like banche's - you hope yours doesn't bite or beat the other kid. You hope the mom doesn't start talking "parenting styles" and you hope she DOES want to drink vodka through the whole 2 hours:)
ReplyDeleteI love your card approach - so classic.. If I received a play date card - I would put on my best attire, walk down the street, knock on the door, and offer up a big bottle of wine and huge Hershey bar!
If you want, we can meet up soon, let the kids beat one another, and enjor ourselves tremendously that we will have to call the hubby's to pick us up from wherever we are:) Kidding.. well somewhat.
Hhahah Holly I have worked in a daycare for 4 years and you are completely normal. I have seen lots of moms and suprisingly dads slip hey I'm a freak cards in file folders or mailboxes. It works!
ReplyDeleteI got SO EXCITED when our neighbors moved in a couple of month's ago & we found out they have a baby boy!! My hubby tried to set my expectations, "honey, we *might* not be bff's..." Why the hell wouldn't we? We live in the country & each have acerages, so for us to have a young couple w/a little 6 month's younger than X for next door neighbor's, feels like hitting the lottery:-) We totally went to the pumpkin patch together this past weekend, see hubby, bff's!
ReplyDeleteThat is too funny! I kinda feel the same way. My BFF has been begging us to move to her new neighborhood so we can "pick up some moms" together, lol. I'm still trying to get in with the moms at my daughter's new school but I am afraid I am not up to their level yet. These are like super moms on steroids. I'd rather find the mom group that meets for margaritas at 4:30 so we can all get home and get to bed at a decent hour. It's 5 oclock somewhere right?
ReplyDeleteEXACT same thing happened to me at the park a week ago. I wanted to ask her for her number SOOOOO bad but was so afraid of her thinking I was some kinda weirdo. Anyway, this just affirms what I have thought all along, we NEED to live closer. Oh and it is somewhat hard to believe that you don't have a gajillion friends in real life. You are the best!
ReplyDeleteHa!! I'm not a good real life friend maker either. I can come across really weird and awkward. I think that's why I love blogging so much... I feel cool that I have a few new friends :)
ReplyDeleteHa!! I'm not a good real life friend maker either. I can come across really weird and awkward. I think that's why I love blogging so much... I feel cool that I have a few new friends :)
ReplyDeleteThis is so true! Play dates are fun but it can be harder than getting a date with a guy! Seriously though if that mom doesn't call you she's wack!
ReplyDeleteI loved this post it made me laugh at all the truth fullness of it. Especially taking your kid to a friends house who doesn't have kids...it's SCARY! :)
Thanks for the shout out love!:)
I am horrible with other parents. There are several houses on our street with kids around Molly & Brady's ages. I don't know what I did to the mom's because I will see them all playing outside and they never ask if my kids want to play (a-holes). And don't even get me started with the pre-school or soccer parents.
ReplyDeleteOh well, at least I don't have to pretend someone just because we share some demographic information.
Just move to SoCal and we won't have to have any awkward play dates ever again with anyone else, just each other :)
ReplyDeleteSo....I'm a playdate junkie. I hear the words, "We should totally do a playdate" come out of my mouth way more often than I ever intended. And then there is the polite, "We should totally do a playdate [but really no, because your child is a monster]" and the person says, "YES! GREAT" and ding-dongs on my door the next day.
ReplyDeleteSo, what I'm saying is, I'm a creepy playdate mom. And I should probably go to some type of playdate rehab.
Oh, and I'm socially awkward. All my friends are facebook friends. I mean, I know them in real life. I just have difficulty holding a conversation face to face. So, my playdate conversations are also weird, and center on talking about what my kid is doing on the playdate.
Shame.
haha! I'm the SAME way! Once I had my daughter, I didn't feel like being around many of my old friends just because they were simply "annoyed" that I didn't have anything other than cute little things Lenae did or how much sleep I didn't get the night before. The annoyed word was her's, not mine...RUDE! They also don't understand that now 8 p.m. is considered "late" and is not an acceptable time to start a hang out session anymore. I found the perfect friend with 3 girls around my daughters age and they all love each other, and now they are moving 10 hours away. I'm devastated! Hope your new find scores you a long friendship! :)
ReplyDelete