Happy Hollyween!!

Happy Halloween, from the Town Nuts. :)

Girlfriend was not feeling her etsy bow. AT. ALL.

My sister and niece are in town, so we will be picking up pizzas and taking 6,943 pictures of the kids until they go into meltdown-mode.

I stopped by my aunt's house last night {her town did Trick or Treating last night}... and I found out that Haven likes giving candy to Trick or Treater's... a lot. So I might have a little buddy tonight. :)
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Also, my girl Kassie is hosting a Blogger Swag Swap. Have you ever participated in one of these before? You get matched up with a blogger stranger/friend and send each other a little package. Kind of like a blogger pen pal, without a 4th grade teacher standing over you to see if you wrote cuss words in your letter {only me??}. If you're interested, hop over and let her know by tomorrow! :)

I actaully met one of my best blogger friends, evaaa, from a swap like this {Hey, Alexis!!}
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What are your Halloween plans tonight? Do tell. :)

Mumbo Jumbo

Olive Betty is walking! Last night, she took three steps by herself. Then, we tried to get it on video, but she just wanted to eat the phone. :)

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Chris was on call yesterday, so I sweet talked him into a new blog design for me. I wanted something fall-ish, but with a pop of blue. And I love it! He is going to tweak a few things tonight and then it should be poppin'.

If you are interested in a blog design, visit this HERE. :) Some of you ladies have kept him so busy and I can't wait to feature a few of them next week.

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My friend, Courtney, is hosting a St. Louis blogger dinner on Friday, November 30th. I was trying to plan one at the same time, but thought it would be more fun to all go together. Plus, every now and then, I like when other people do the planning. Then I can just sit back and booze relax.

If you're interested in going, shoot me an email.

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And finally, today is my MIL's birthday! I usually don't give birthday shout outs {because we all know that's what facebook is for}, but Teresa was my first ever blog reader and still reads every day-- even though I am the controlling daughter in law from hell. :)

She is awesome because she will drive two hours down to StL just to babysit in a pinch. And she has even taken me to see Taylor Swift.

Once, she drove down two hours to take me to Brad Paisley on my birthday-- only to get down here and realize she left our tickets at home. {no fear, I worked that one out with the box office} :)

Happy Birthday, Teresa... The Queen of Pop Culture knowledge! :)

Giveaway Winner and Aly's Linkup

Happy Monday!

The Shabby Apple giveaway winner is... Kate! Send me an email and I will get you the $50 gift card!{I noticed a few people entered after 6pm CST last night. I apologize that those people did not make it into the Random Number Generator. Sorry!}

Aly-miester is hosting a "I Wore What??" linkup today. Since I have had my fair share of fashion club no-no's, I'd thought this would be a fun.

First of all... Be kind. :) Remember this post? Yeah, I am not fashion forward.

Aly posted last week that one of her fashion mistakes was wearing a jean jacket and khaki pants to a frat house party. Yep. I did that, too. But I also tried to rock black hair.

Then there are these photos...

I guess you could say that the reason why I have no fashion sense is because clearly my parent's didn't either... Hence the 1st grade school photo.

But the all-time fashion club no-no is a toss up between...

1. Jean overalls with an Abercrombie shirt.

2. This prom dress.

Smother me with a pillow now.

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Also, if you're interested in sponsoring for November, visit this page and shoot me an email. I take great pride in my sponsors and try to give other bloggers page traffic and new readers.

Everyone knows that people don't read posts titled "Sponsors" nor do they read sponsor-related posts on weekends. I know this. Which is why I highlight my sponsors in relevant posts during the week to give them as much visibility as possible.

Red Rover, Red Rover, send November sponsors right over... :)

$50 Shabby Apple Giveaway!!

Shabby Apple wants to give one of you a $50 gift card!

The great thing about Shabby Apple, along with their vintage and casual dresses, is they have some great customer service features like live chat, fit guide, style advice, free returns, etc.

My favorite part is the selection. It doesn't matter if you're pregnant, just had a baby, or have a lean figure... They have a dress for you! Shabby Apple's dresses have vintage touches that makes the style stand out from the crowd. The fit of their retro dresses look awesome on women with curves. Plus the colors and fabric are just fun!

 

 To enter for the $50 gift card, you must be a follower of this blog.

You can enter up to three times by doing the following:

1. Visit Shabby Apple and pick your favorite dress (MANDATORY) by clicking HERE. Leave the name of the dress in the comments section.

2. Like Shabby Apple on Facebook

3. Blog about your giveaway {leave a link to your blog post in the comments}

 

Please leave a separate comment for each entry. This gives you more chances to win!

 

Contestants must also have a USA shipping address.

Just for being a reader, Shabby Apple would like to offer you a 10% off coupon for any shopping you do with them this month!  Your coupon code is thestanfieldclan10off

The giveaway will be opened through Sunday night at 6pm (CST). The lucky winner will be announced Monday morning.

Happy Shopping!!

4th Anniversary: Newlywed Vlog

4 years ago today....

I found a pastor and violinist on Craigslist... and married me a Virgo! I always knew I'd marry a Virgo, but had no idea the deep kind of love and admiration I would have for Chris only a few years later.

There is a letter that I wrote to my 16 year old self HERE... and all those things are still true. :)

Happy Anniversary, Pumpkin Butt. Big Holly loves you long time.

 

 

Maybe our computer speakers are garbage, but the video is difficult to hear, so you might have to turn it up a bit. And ignore my alway-naked child... at one point, he says, "Guys, shut up!" :)

 

Also... be sure to come back tomorrow for an awesome $50 value giveaway!!

 

And if you're interested in being a sponsor for November, check out the details HERE and shoot me an email.

 

We have a babysitter tonight for three hours.... so watch out St. Louis! In the meantime, I am home with Olive Betty today. Girlfrenn is not feeling like herself, so she is getting some Mama-TLC today.

 

Happy Thursday!!



Fatty McGee

To say that I have fallen off the healthy lifestyle bandwagon {really just the weight loss bandwagon-- why do we make up these terms to feel better about the struggle??}.

Since The Shred has been over, I am been rolling around in refined carbs and partial hydrogenated oils.

Big Holly finished The Shred last month HERE... and has only been lolly-gagging around since. I did start Ripped in 30-- but hated it. I missed The Shred... and Anita... and the other girl with amazing legs. {BTW... Check out Meredith's Shred results HERE.... Girlfriend killed it}

When I don't eat well, I get breakouts, I am tired, I am moody, I am She-Devil.

So I'm starting over... eating clean again... and retraining these taste buds that always feel like going AWOL when we're at the grocery store. The first three days always suck for me. Headaches, fatigue, grouchiness.... But after that third or fourth day, something just clicks.

I am not someone who can lose weight by just counting my calories. I have to run like Forrest every day. And I have to eat clean-- otherwise, it's just constant mind games with myself and I am miserable.

You know that word moderation? The bottom less pit that is my stomach has no idea what that means.

Like a true "Blog Mom," I posted a picture of my lunch on instagram. Some people asked for ideas about meals to eat clean. So I am going to show you options I have, as a vegetarian, and someone highly addicted to sugar. This is what I call The Withdrawal.

When I get into this mode... this is what I eat.

 

Breakfast- 20oz of water

Protein smoothie

2 hard boiled eggs-- without the yok and some cut veggies

Plain oatmeal with a banana

Luna bar

 

Snack- 20oz of water

Carrots

Green veggies

Walnuts

Berries

Natural applesauce

 

Lunch- 20oz of water

Lentil salad and a green veggies

Spinach salad with cottage and peppers

Naked taco with refried beans, avocado, and pico de gallo

 

Snack- 20oz of water

Carrots

Green veggies

Walnuts

Berries

Natural applesauce

 

Dinner- 20oz of water

Lentils and steamed veggies

Brown rice and steamed veggies-- faux stir fry

Egg white salad on top of spinach

 

I go to bed around 8:30pm, so I don't eat anything after dinner (5pm).

 

 

I've been super inspired by Leigh Ann to just cut the crap and make the sacrifices. My ego and pants will thank me later.

 

With that... I am restarting The Shred today!! Almost 30 days until Thanksgiving, where I will probably just throw this all to the birds anyway. {I don't know if that is a real saying or not, but it sounds right}

 

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And one last thing.... There will be an awesome giveaway over here on Friday! Be sure to pop over and check it out!!

 

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In the meantime, feel free to leave your favorite clean/lean meal ideas in the comments for other people to check out! :)

The New Generation of the Crazy Birthday Party Mom

When I was a kid, there wasn't a high chair banner for a first birthday, or themed-centered favors, or even fondant cake. The invitation came in the mail {but mostly by hand} on fill in the blank invites that did not coincide with the party, whatsoever {unless Lisa Frank counts, which it totally should}.

Or maybe that was just my house.

My parties growing up consisted of just telling friend's at school to come over on Sunday, playing Bozo's Grand Prize Game with old pots and pans, and my mom pocketing any birthday money that I received in cards because I "had to pay her back for my party."

This is probably why I go balls to the wall as a parent.

1. I love a good invitation... no fill in the blanks or facebook invites here.
2. I always serve lunch... even when I am cussing myself the day of the party because I forgot 7 things at the store.
3. My babies get homemade birthday cake... Fondant cake looks awesome, but I have to draw my budget line somewhere. And I love the idea that they know their mom will always make them a birthday cake from scratch.

Clearly not the best looking cakes from scratch...

Anyway, Olive's first birthday is in a few weeks. Girlfriend is always going to get the shit end of the stick with a December birthday. Her birthday is the same month as Christmas and our personal property taxes on our vehicles being due (damn you, Missouri).  Haven on the other hand? He is in February and his birthday always falls on the same week we get our company bonus. Lucky turd.

With her party being a few weeks away, I gotta start planning.

Who am I kidding? It's already been planned since I found out she was a girl.

I think back over the summer, I commented on one of Kristen's post, like "Hey! I know it's Flag Day, but start thinking about Gingerbread Girl invites now." And I am only kind of kidding about that.

I've been wanting Kristen's Little Laws Prints to make Olive Gingerbread Girl invites for months. And when it finally didn't feel like a creepy time frame to ask {like Flag Day and Canadian Thanksgiving}, I took the plunge.

"I want it all!!!"

Invites on a nice card stock, matching thank you notes, a Happy Birthday banner for the food table, a highchair banner, cupcake toppers, and themed favor tags.

And look what arrived...

{not my real address or email}

I plan on having pre-made gingerbread houses for the kids to decorate with candy... and baking the cutest gingerbread girl cake for Olive. I have a gingerbread themed tree already, so I don't think I will buy much decor.

If you need any kind of party stationery, please talk to Kristen at Little Laws Prints. I just poorly described the vision in my head... and Bam! She delivered. I just prefer to go through real people... I always have a better experience and there is no way I would have received this kind of quality without paying out the whazoo.

And if you are in love with kid birthday parties, then please hop on over to Amy's blog today. She hosted a 1st birthday party for her son over the weekend... and it was, hands down, the greatest birthday party I have been to, ever.

Happy Tuesday!!

A Vlog: Lazy Girl Curls

This video is for Darci {heyyyy gurl}.

I'm apologizing that my chitter chatter was all over the place. This was a one-shot, obviously not edited, vlog about how to do the Lazy Girl Curls to your hair... in 7 minutes.

Clearly, I am no Kate... So if you want more hair tutorials/vlogs, go check out the Queen Bee. :)

Also... you should try her lasagna {just be sure to use the no-boil noodles, as directed}

So, without further adieu.... Say hello to 4:30am Holly.

And it's it now 5am... I haven't figured out how to change the front photo to where I don't look like a serial killer. I'll make that my internet lesson #578 tonight.

ALSO... Chris and I celebrate a wedding anniversary this week. I want to do a Newlywed Game Show type-vlog, if I can get him on board. Watch for that. :)

And finally, you may have noticed that I have been blogging/reading/commenting weird hours of the day. This is because for the last month or so, I have not logged into Blogger from work-- I just can't anymore. Now I read my blogs at night after the kids are in bed and get my post up in the morning before they wake up for the day....  Just so that you know why I am commenting at 4 o'clock in the morning like a stage-five clinger. :)

I hope you all have a great Monday!!!

PS- Check out this awesome Butts & Guts vlog by Leigh Ann.... you'll be hurtin'!!

Wrapalicious

Have I ever told you about my sister, Noel?

Of course, I have. You can just read the blog posts labeled Noel HERE... But this is the most realistic depiction of Noel HERE when we sold our last house.

She is the family member that can constantly roll in shit and come up smellin' like roses.

She can carve her name into some closet trim... and then carve my name in too when I go to tell on her.

And for about 6 weeks of my life, I was skinnier than her. Granted, she was 38 weeks pregnant, but I'll take the glory.

Anyway, Noel had a baby back in April. As she always does, Noel just dropped the weight like it was her job. Except for the fact that Noel has never had a "job" unless you count winning at board games, right Amy? ;)

So my real-life friend, Alexis sells these body wraps. They are supposed to be beez-neeez for firming up flab. I was like.... yeah right. So I ask her if she will send some to Noel to try. Noel has lost all of her baby weight, but her shirts still didn't fit correctly. She has to parade around with the VH1 Baseball Wives all day, so she gotsta look good.

Also, I told Noel that I wouldn't post a picture of her face....

But BOOM!

Anyway, here are the before and afters.... This is after just TWO wraps.

Noel said that her waist and hips look so much smaller.... And two weeks later, her stomach looks just as good.

I was skeptical that it could just be water weight, but now I am a firm believer that this actually removes the toxins and cleans out your gut.

If you are someone who has recently had a child or lost some weight, I highly recommend trying one of Alexis's wraps! Please go check out her wrap page HERE!!

And everyone tell Noel's belly HI!!!

Also... I didn't get paid anything to say this. Alexis is just my home girl... and I wanted to post pictures of Noel's stomach on my blog. Over n' out!

The Awful Term: Play Date

Fact: I am only good at making internet friends.

Something happened when I became a mom. It's like I'm drawn to other mother's. Some sort of weird freak magnet... like Hey You with the baby!! Yes, you!! Please be my friend!!

My old friends without kids? Who are they? That time of my life gets a little blurry. It's not that I don't still love my pre-non-baby-friends.... It's just, I don't think they would find going to the indoor play area at the mall to be a very good time. I don't think they would enjoy a 4:30pm dinner, because I gotta get home for baths and bedtime. Or they just have so many damn kick-knacks in their house, that my toddler cannot be trusted because he thinks we're visiting a real-life Fisher Price Playhouse.

And when I see another mother in public who looks like me and has some runny-nosed kids.... I feel like laying the most aggressive pick up lines on her... Can I gettcha' number?

Anyway, the point I am getting to is the word PLAY DATE. Who in the hell came up with this term? As if we are so socially busy, that I must have my people call your people and pencil you into my book.

Back in the day, I would just walk to my friend's house if I wanted to play. In fact, my sister and I were those kids that woke up early-early. We'd climb the fence in the backyard over to the neighbor's house and ring the doorbell. My guess is that this happened about 6am on Saturday mornings. My 6am guess is because her mom would answer the door all sorts of upset and tell us not to come back until 9am.... and 9am was hours away.

Now, God knows Haven or Olive isn't leaving my sight. Notta freakin' chance. But we need to find friends to play with when the Smith's are busy.

So the other night, we're all at the park and I spot a little kid from Haven's class. Then I spot his mom because I had briefly met her on the pumpkin patch field trip last week. We chit-chat, daycare bash, and then realize that we live on the same street. Oh my gawd, I just hit the Play Date lottery!!

But then I got too nervous and left without grabbing her number.

So then I was thinking that I would put a Hi, I'm a freak card in her son's box at school.

Would that be weird?

Ok, good. Because I did it this morning. :)

And now, I will shamelessly transition into some awesome ladies that I would love to have play dates with, if they lived closer. :)

Darci... Who looks so pretty when she smiles! Darci has two kids that are weeks within age of Haven and Olive. She has a very dry sense of humor and often takes pictures of herself not smiling, like she is trying be hard. But really, I know deep down, she is full of rainbows and butterflies. Look at that face!!

Meredith... My little crafting and cooking machine. She recently did a Pinterest 30 Day Challenge. You should check out her blog for real recipes and projects that she has completed. And she is just a very nice blog friend-- we all like those!

Mrs. D in tha house!! I like Marianne... a lawwt. She has her hands full with two boys, but still finds time to hit the gym and bring sexy back! And she is also a Coupon-Queen... check out her blog!

Shelly.... Shelly, Shelly, No Belly. I like Shelly's blog because she is always keepin' it real. She is a fun mom, wife, and friend... who really tries to do it all. She also an emailer... and you all know that I am one, too! :)

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And also, for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, my friend Annie from Crazy Simple Mama is hosting a fundraiser on her blog. For a small donation, she will place your blog or Etsy button on her page. Please pop on over there.

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Happy Wednesday!!

My Super Trashy Awesome Tattoo

Fair warning: This is a recycled and political-groupie post.

I'm linking up with Melanie today to talk tattoos.
I have one....

Just a little background before you realize that I lost my effing mind:

In 6th grade, I was 12 years old (1997?), and Bill Clinton was the President. I don't know why, but I loved him. I grew up in a very conservative house where on every car ride we were summoned to listen to Rush Limbaugh... and mentioning anything about Bill Clinton was comparable to abomination from the family.

So maybe I liked him so much because my crazy family despised him {which is the same reason why I don't like Elvis, porcelain dolls, strawberry decorations, hamburger, and fake flowers}? I can remember a Christmas when my brother and I were in junior high and we opened in our presents in other rooms because we couldn't stop fighting about politics. What kind of obnoxious weasels were we?!

Anyway, so that is where my love came from... and I carried it all the way through to college where I studied Political Science and fell in love with the history on the Presidency.

One night after a few unnecessary rounds of beer pong, I get the grand idea to get Bill Clinton's autograph tattooed on my wrist. Really genius. Not. I printed out a signature off the internet and we headed to the the ink shop. We got lost on the way, so I ended up getting it the next morning sober. I pretty much have no excuse for being a freak of nature.

Fast forward two years later... I apply and write a paper to attend the Clinton Global Initiative for university students in New Orleans. I get accepted... I drive down to New Orleans... and I got to meet Bill Clinton! Everyone that I had met earlier that day kept asking me if I was going to show him my tattoo... Um, hell to the no! I don't want to be sent on the crazy plane back to Illinois!

{Such a chubby faced child}

 

 

Looking back now, I definitely wouldn't have got the tattoo {and will never get another one}. But, I don't know if I will ever go through the pain of covering it up. I'm still a big fan... but I'm a fan of most President's.... and it's one of my wacky stories.

And lawddd, he is still sexy!!

Moooo-nday

It's Monday! As if we are all not feeling it this morning without the reminder. When I was going through my Joel Osteen phase, I read his "Every Day a Friday." After reading it, I kind of have a new take on Monday's in general. I try not to dread them too much.

And since it's Monday, it is the only best day of the week to get back on the eating right bandwagon. I can workout for hours everyday and it wouldn't bother me. What bothers me? Limiting the food I shovel in my mouth. And of course, I ate like a garbage truck all weekend.

I am still doing Ripped in 30 this month. My verdict so far? I like The Shred better... and I hated The Shred. But my friend Alexis sent me this Ruffles of Love shirt FOR NO REASON. I love her. I joked on instagram that now I have this shirt, I am just good teeth, big boobs, and twelve 12 inch thighs away from looking like Mama Laughin.

Ignore the back bacon in the picture.

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The pumpkin patch field trip went great! He did take off his pants and jump into a wooden box of shelled corn... But he wasn't the kid that peed in the box of shelled corn. Praise the lawd!

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And the football game was fun... minus the lack of beer in the stadium and the torrential downpour that caused the game to be delayed. Someone left me a comment on my last post about how I should drink before going into the game because they don't sell beer at UF games. I responded to her in email letting her know that basically 12 year olds can drink in Missouri, so I should be OK.

So we tailgate a little bit and then my diabetic brother needed some food, so we headed into the stadium. It was about an hour before game time, so we thought we'd eat and walk around. I go up to the Grill and order a sloppy jane and a beer.... And no beer is served in the stadium. All apart of the NCAA rules.

We stayed until the 2nd quarter when the pouring rain wouldn't let up and caused the game to be delayed. Alabama won anyway, so my little Butkus was a happy brother.

{And the Cardinals won twice this weekend.... Ohhh Mmmm Geee!!}

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My friend, Melanie, is hosting a tattoo linkup tomorrow over HERE.I have one infamous tattoo that most of you already know about, but I will be linking up with Mel anyway. If you have some tattoos, please jot up a post a share. :)

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And I apologize, instagramers... You've already seen these pictures. Like my husband said, anytime something happens, all media outlets must be notified!

The Weekend Eve

Did you see the Holly-ween picture Chris made me? That's pretty much what I look like in the morning if I don't get 9 hours of sleep.

Maybe for Halloween, Picmokney will have something that will make me look like a turkey or green bean casserole. Like a ceramic duck on an older lady's porch, I could keep this gig up all year round.

It's Thursday, which is the eve of the weekend. Tomorrow I am going on a field trip with Haven's class to a pumpkin patch. While it's nice to spend some time with him and 20 other runny nosed three year olds alone, that isn't why I choose to the the field-trip mom. I go because I have this fear that another field trip mom would volunteer expecting a leisurely morning at the pumpkin farm, when in reality, Haven will be playing Hide n Seek in the corn maze and Hulk-Smashing other three year olds in the pumpkin patch.

Saturday, we're going with my brother and his girlfriend to the Alabama v Mizzou football game. I've never been to a college football game before, but both of our families are big Alabama fans-- so I will be drinking beer and yelling Roll Tide all day.

I also have about 18 hours worth the shows to watch on DVR. Homeland, Parenthood, The Voice, Tosh, New Girl, Oprah's Life Class...

What are you doing this weekend? Please share.

And while you're at it, check out these funny ladies below, too.

Kristen!! I'm sure you all know how excited I am that I could finally pay KLaw to be my friend. If I would have known it was this exciting, I would have joined a sorority in college. I have only been creeping on Kristen for a good two years now. I think it's safe to say that she has the funniest mom-blog out there. If you can appreciate booze and a cute toddler, please go visit her blog and say Hiiiiii.

Aly-miester.... or Aly McBeal in my phone. My now real life friend, who I am about to travel the US with on a blogger-groupie road show. We met a few weekends ago in Chicago, you can check that post out HERE. Then next month, she is flying to St. Louis, where we will be taking the crazy bus on the road to Tulsa for the weekend (with Molly and Nancy Clue). Gotta see Mama L run the Route 66 Half Marathon! Then if she isn't completely sick of me by then, we are all bunking together, Step Brother's style, in Dallas for Blissdom come March.

And finally, Crista!! Oh-kay... Crista is funny. Like a real dry wit kind of humor. She has lost mucho pedro peso  (see what happens when your mother migrates here from South America and is forced to assimilate-- I don't know any Spanish!!) But really, her posts are funny, she is losing weight like it's the only way to get into Heaven, and in my Forrest Gump voice, "I like her a laawwwt."

 

 

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Also, Ashleigh sent me an email the other day. She is doing a 5k on Saturday in support of Breast Cancer Awareness Month. If you know anyone affected by breast cancer, please hop over to her blog HERE. She would like to add their name to the back of her shirt! :)

 

 

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So.... whatcha' doin' this weekend?

Fall Decorations

Since I will never be able to top the post by Chris yesterday, I thought I would show you some of my fall decorations. Also, if you loved his guest post material, you can check out some other subjects that he has given me his two cents about HERE.

And clearly, I don't know how to take the seasonal-blog-photos-trying-to-look-artsy-with-an-iPhone-pictures... So this happens.

Is it Friday yet??

Hubby Guest Post: You Know You're a Blog Mom...

If you are here, then you are more than likely a “Blog Mom.”  Even if you haven’t squeezed out a few pups, you are part of this community of crafters, part-time workout enthusiasts, and constant photographers.  As my college anthropology professor (who wore the same clothes every day for 5 months) taught me, each community has its own customs and similarities…But, you Blog Moms have surpassed being a community and developed your own culture.

 

Previously, Holly said that I have a “thang” for blogger ladies.  At first I was offended and hurt…and offended.  Like I was a contributor to this blog so that I could creep on ladies’ blogs in order to line up my next 5 wives based on your recipes and photoshop skills, in addition to being able to gauge the amount of time of our future relationship that would be spent on you taking pictures of yourself with a phone.

Not entirely true, I am actively trying to take an interest in what Holly does so that we have things to do together…(I read that once on a Yahoo Relationship Advice story…now being on that 5 wives list is looking pretty sweet, eyh?)

But, then I realized, YES, the traits of your group are attractive to us men folk.  Wanting to look good, being awesome at making stuff to eat, and having a focus on family are all things men like.  It’s a more traditional view of being a wife that some people have lost…not that it’s your job to do those things, but men are lazy babies and the more you can do to take care of us, the better…damn women’s lib, ruined my apron fetish…

As I was telling this to my wife, she said I should write a post called, "You might be a blog mom if..." I was a little hurt, by the fact that she sees my comedic styling’s most similar to Jeff Foxworthy. But, I fought through the pain and thought of multiple ways you wacky women are alike and insane.

(read italicized parts as a woman)

You might be a Blog Mom if...

1. You make your dog wear a chevron sweater and say you are a Dog Mom.  “I love my dog as much a child!”  …then you have a child… “Get that damn dog out of here, the baby is sleeping!”

2. Several of your kid's school items were bought from an Etsy shop with Poppy, Corner, or Place in the title… “Mommy I want a Power Rangers pencil box!”…“No, you will be using this hand crafted cloth box that looks like an owl, it’s much cuter!”

3. You are never surprised by pictures on a blog because you have seen them on instagram, Facebook, and twitter. “But the dog was lying by the baby on the ground! Every media outlet must be notified!!!”

4. You go to your “frienemie’s” blog more than your friend’s blog to judge her and try of think of comments to leave that let you know you are on to her bullshit.  “I know that skank did not just copy the custom font from MY tervis tumbler!”

5. You post pictures of the "healthy" food you eat... “This is my lunch everybody, half a grape and 3 weeds from the back yard…hmm they take up most of my plate, I won’t include the Reese’s pumpkins family pack I just ate in the picture.”

6. You post pictures of yourself after you are sweaty. “Here is picture of me with wet armpits…you can’t see the swamp-ass, but trust me, it’s there.”

7. You have a Pintrest category dedicated to how you will decorate "future things" like a wedding, house, or kids. “If I ever have 7 kids we will all do this candle making project on the beach! Each family member’s candle will look like a character from Full House…I get dibs on Danny.”

8. Your mood is based on the amount of comments your post gets. “Don’t talk to me today, I only got 3 comments and one was from a frienemy trying to call me on my bullshit!”

9. On your blog you talk “gangster/frat-boy/sailor” when in real life you are a mild mannered woman who enjoys looking at pictures of food.  “Listen up biz-atches, shit is about to get rizeal up in herrrrrre!  I’m a 22 year old white girl who wears the Lauren Conrad collection from Kohl’s but I also talk strizeeet.”

 

10. You love to say AMAZEBALLS and use it every chance you get!  “That macaroni looks amazeballs!” “This picture of a cat is amazeballs!”  “Your foot fungus is clearing up?!?! A-M-A-Z-E-B-A-L-L-S!!!!!”

 

But seriously, you women are part of a fantastic community and I think it’s awesome that you have a place to meet new friends and backhandedly brag about the everyday events in your life.

 Feel free to share this list with all blog womens!...I want some frienemies…and a healthy candidate pool for my future wife list.

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Chris was tagged on a #WIND post by Darci on instagram last night... He had no idea what it meant, but he ran with his idea. :)

 

Pumpkins and Pinterest

Oh, this post won't be as hilarious as Kristen's post about Pinterest last week... But, I do have a few pumpkin-esque recipes to share.

One thing you must know about me.... I'm not a craft type person. Unless it involves food, I'll just go to the store and buy the crafty wreath and hang it on my door. Now the mom's that have time to make homemade goldfish and fruit rope? Pour yourself a beer. I envy you.

Anyway, here are my only two, tried and true pumpkin creations.

1. Pumpkin Shaped Cheese Ball

This was originally posted here a few years ago. I make this every year-- it's my go to cheese ball recipe.

2. Pumpkin Rice Krispie Treats

I made these here for my friend Lindsey's pumpkin-themed baby shower last year. EZ-PZ.

{Just make believe that these images are the same size}

And if you're a someone into craftiness and/or yummy recipes, please check out these ladies:

This is my newest friend, Keyona. She has turned into a running machine and has completed eleven 5k's this year. My favorite part of her blog is her Recipe Box found HERE. I call her the Smoothie Queen and she also turns a lot of normal recipes into "skinny" ones.

This is Laura from Serrano Style. She is a crafting and baking machine. If you are into sewing, quiliting, or photography, please check out her blog. I love all of her quilts, pillows, and craftiness that she posts about. And we all love a good pinner... Check her out on pinterest HERE.

And finally, this is Courtney. Just checking out her blog a few times, you wouldn't know that she was a sewing and crafting machine {pun intended-- I'm hilarious at 4am}. In addition to her healthy living posts, she is also an undercover crafter. You can check out her sewing archives HERE.

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Cheers and Tears to Monday!

Vlog Linkup: Friday Favorites

I'm linking up my real life friend, Emily.

 

<a href="http://www.thestanfieldclan.com/"><img src="http://i1191.photobucket.com/albums/z468/suit1/linkup.png" alt="linkup" width="420" height="409" /></a>

{What do I do with my hands?!}

Answer some of these questions and linkup with us. Take the time to jump around and found new blogs to read.

The topic: Friday Favorites
What's your name?
What's your favorite fast food meal?
What was your favorite music video on TRL?
If your house caught fire, what is the one favorite material object you would take out with you?
What is your favorite workout?
What is your favorite food in your pantry?
What is your favorite gift you have ever received?

I have to work for a few hours this morning and then I'll be back to watch all of these videos. :)

Happy Friday!!

My Work Horse

I have a person in my immediate family that used to treat her husband very poorly-- ex husband now that he cheated on her and left her for his office secretary. You may be thinking, um Holly, that isn't very family-oriented of you to air on your blog.... And my response would be... she left her first husband for a bank robber. So karma was bound to find her.

Do you want to know more about that story? 'notha time, 'notha place. :)

Anyway, one thing my grandmother would always tell her, in a thick Spanish accent, "Don't beat up your work horse."

This is also the same grandmother who told me that anyone more than 140 pounds was on her death list for obesity.

Wanna play the Whose Family is More Crazy game?

Basically, Chris is my work horse. He sits in on brain surgeries during the day and then comes home and helps all of my friends with their blogs at night.

Don't have too much pity on him... He has a thang for blog moms. For real. He loves when they pick one of his designs or email him back about how much they love their page.

Just to brag on him and shamelessly plug a few of my friends, here are a few designs he did this month...

This is my real life friend, Alexis, or what I call my Texas twin... if I was 20 pounds lighter, with better teeth and blonder hair. I can't wait to give her a big ol Holly hug in March.

And the lovely, Amanda... who I know through Alexis, because Alexis knows everyone in the Lone Star state. She is a SAHM to two boys under two. And yet, she is in a dress and smiling...? :)

Amber is a gem. The first time I read her blog, I had to send her an email. Her husband passed away in a car accident earlier this year. She is raising two little boys on her own and doing a hellva job.

Oh, Annie. Look at that face. We're both on that mommy-weight loss bus. She has done an amazing job at losing weight and keeping positive. I love that Annie keeps it real and talks the talk and walks the walk. If you're riding on that fun bus too, then go check her out.

And this is Kassie... My Louisiana firecracker. She makes me laugh so hard with her little kitchen disasters and fitness goals. She is also a wedding planner... and I think she should have a blog just about bridezillas.

Ok, no bias here... but Melanie is my new favorite blogger {there! I said it... sue me for my green shaggin' wagon!}. She is running a half marathon on Sunday. Will you please go over to her blog and just say, Good Luck. I'll be eating a donut thinking of you.

And finally... Leigh Ann. If you want to feel bad about your pathetic workout or what you wore to work, then please go to her blog. She is a gym rat, no-excuses kind of gal, and a little fashion star. She has lost so much weight and is such a motivation.

Stop by and give them all some love. Most of them are new bloggers and need a virtual hug and welcome to the club pat on the bee-hind. :)

If you need a blog re-design, click HERE.

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And don't forget the vlog link up tomorrow... I'll have a how-to post this afternoon-- which should be hilarious considering I don't know how to turn on Netflix.