Haven has been the center of our world and hearts since the day he was born. Yada yada yada.
After Haven was born, all of this guilt set in. I knew I was going back to work, so I wanted to build a bond with him. I couldn't even put him daycare because he was too precious. We paid someone to come to our house. For the first year of his life, we would lay down with him at every nap and bedtime.
Eventually, we had to let him cry it out in his room. I remember having to take a shower because it was too hard on me. I am laughing at myself type this out because I was so pathetic. Anyway, he got a toddler bed and started going to bed on his own.... and everything was great. Then we moved.
And he was scared. And I could relate because I am pretty much scared of everything. When I was younger, my sister and I got our own rooms, but I would cry for her all night until she came and slept with me. I was like 10, people.
So since we have moved, he has just slept with us. Our last house sold in six days and we have been leasing this one since. We had plans over the summer to buy the house next door and then she changed her mind. Now we are looking at March/April as our time frame.
What I should also mention, is that Haven and Olive share a room on the main floor with us. There is a finished room in the basement that is their playroom, but since our house is a shoebox and we all need to be on the same floor, this is our third dilemma. First being Haven has slept in our bed for the last 18 months and the second being he has to pinch the extra skin on my elbow to fall asleep.
So letting him cry it out isn't really an option. Olive Betty had a whole different Mommy, that I am sure she will pay big bucks talking about to her therapist one day. She has slept in her crib, alone, since the night we brought her home. She is also a touch-me-not, so I can definitely see the signs of mommy-didn't-hold-you-enough-as-a-child syndrome.
So we bought a big boy bed and Avenger's bedding to coax him into his room. He was excited, but not excited to sleep in there on his own. Nap time went OK... But I had to lay with him. Bed time? Not a chance. I tried laying in there with him because he was scared and kept talking about "witchezzz" and I was feeling sorry for him.
Then he started shooting me with his invisible bow and arrow... and dropping imaginary bombs on my head, so I stopped the pity and switched to annoyed. Which I know other people find annoyed too because I bought a car last month without a picture ID. They ran my credit report and let me test drive the car without one. Then when it came time for "delivery" they said I could pick it up on Monday when I found my DL. Then I cued Haven to do his imaginary killing scene... everyone was annoyed and I left with a car on promise that I wouldn't go to Mexico.
So yes, long story short. Co-sleeping failure over here.
Probably the only thing we can do is wait until we move this spring.... and find a doll with squishy elbows...