Health ASSessment

Last week, Chris and I joined a gym close to our house. It's one of those 24 hour places filled with good looking college kids with working thyroids, who go to the gym like it's their job-- because they don't have jobs yet.

This is gym membership DOS for me because I still utilize the facility in my work building, that is mainly occupied by retired men from the Navy who walk and watch the Price is Right on volume 62.

Now before this 24 hour place, I did try out a gym even closer to my house. I wrote a little bit about this before. I joked that Chris and I would drive by and look at the people in the parking lot pushing tractor tires around in the 100 degree heat, while we argued about who was eating who's fries out of the Jack n the Box bag. Basically, it didn't have any treadmills, elliptical  mirrors, televisions, etc. You walked in and your work out started. Two guys worked the place and would go through drills with everyone. But it was $99/month and for that price, I thought Chris could yell at me to jump on a box in our backyard.

So last night was the big health assessment that this gym provides free of charge (and 179 sales pitches on the side) to their new clients. I head over there in my workout attire covered in bleach stains, lookin' like Charlize Theron from the movie Monster, but feeling like the purple Teletubby

They discuss goals, do measurements, have a show n tell with the machines, and then a mini workout is done.

But before all of this, they measure your body fat. Not your BMI-- but my FAT LEVELS.

So I hold onto this little machine with my hands out in the air. Before I even get the number, I immediately want to crawl in a hole and die pig out because I realized that I only shaved my right arm pit.

Fat levels come back at 11%. He is impressed. I know something is not right. He looks at a chart and it pretty much puts me in a category with anorexia. Nice thought if I knew of such control.

So we do it again. 29%!! Holy Fat Funky Batman! Now I am in the RISKY/EXCESSIVE category. And I immediately start breathing hard because that's what most fat people do.

We then proceed to go through the workouts. I literally saw my life flash before my eyes during a walking plank and the trainer totally caught glimpse of my neglected left arm pit.

At the end, he wanted to sell me a "Jumpstart Program" that would allow four personal training sessions, just like the one I had, for $99. Like a coward trying to get out of donating a $1 to the Children's hospital while trying to buy some beer, I told him I needed to talk it over with my husband.

Guess what 71% TONED Holly is doing?? I am going back to my first gym and pushing a tractor tire around the parking lot. Because at least it's unlimited for a month and not just four workouts. Boom.

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If you're interested in some other ladies trying to bring sexy back, please check out these girls below.

Jennifer from Fat Chick to Fit Chick
Jennifer is hands down one of the funniest bloggers around. She is also a Fit Chick in training... having lost almost 90 pounds so far in the last eight months. If you are on instagram, check her out at (fatchick2fitchick). She posts clean meals, great food prepping advice, as well as workouts that you can do at home. This is her progress so far! Please hop over to her blog HERE to read more (and sign up to receive her post updates).

Courtney from Journey of a Dreamer
Courtney is a local St. Louis lady and mom to one little girl. She is also a CrossFit machine. She recently traveled to complete her level one certification. Over the last year and a half, Courtney has lost 50 pounds. You can check out her before and afters on her instagram (@courtnorm). On her blog, she posts about her healthy lifestyle and activities. Check out her blog HERE (and subscribe by email).

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Happy Wednesday!!